I know some people think its just a name change but it's much more than that. I feel like I have lost my whole identity and it has sent me in search of myself even more. Where is she? I really need to find her. I have searched everywhere for her even in her old words. I looked between the beginning and end of her sentences but I keep coming up empty. I keep finding remnants of her on insurance cards, college transcripts and her mothers lips. She taunts me with her memories of a life before me and makes me shed tears I don't quite understand. She forces me out of my happy place on occasion but she refuses to revisit me. She refuses to come out of hiding. Sometimes I think she is angry with me. Angry because I took her joy, credit for her achievements and started to mother her child and love her husband. I miss her though and I never meant to have my name take over her life drastically change her identity and leave me lost and in search of her. In search of me.
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